pictures of me...

I can only handle ambiguity in small doses. Weeks of dealing with it leaves me on edge and physically depleted. Just in case I wasn't emotionally aware of the strain, my body has staged a revolt. It feels like I've been sick more days than not since the semester started- objectively, I know this is a slight exaggeration, but I'm beyond frustrated. I eat healthy, I work out... but the sleep (which I've been skimping on) and the stress (over the top!) are winning this war.

Looking back over my past many months of "blogging," the under-reporting and over-reliance on lyrics speaks volumes. I've been preoccupied with topics inappropriate for public display. Pondering has gotten me nowhere, so I'm trying to get back into the moment and out of my futile meaning-of-life-exercises.

Only 8 days in the snow this year- we might sneak in one more this weekend. Equipment problems continued to plague me, but the last day at Angel Fire, everything fell into place. I got my boots adjusted and finally felt at one with my hand-me-down board. I rocked two black diamonds! Since there's no video evidence and only one witness, I'm sticking with that story... I have no wish to be a park rider, but hiking up to off-lift, in-bound trails, swimming in feet of fresh pow- that's my element. My new goal is to eventually ride a split board.

Eden turned three last month. I've been trying to catch her on Skype once a weekend, but she actually prefers the phone- it's easier to tote me around the house and "show" me things. Deb-Deb and Pa Joe are (rightfully) more cautious with the Mac. This weekend is her princess party, and I'm sad to miss it.

Other news: I'm officially back on the running band wagon. I finally defended my masters, just in time for Stumbleupon to bring my graduate career to a smashing end. Not surprisingly, half of the sites it handpicks for me involve pretty pictures of food and recipes. My kitty now has cleaner teeth than me (seriously... dental work for the munchkin... *sigh*). And that's it... That's my 2010.

Start stop and start
Stupid acting smart
Flirting with the flicks
You say it's just for kicks
You'll be the victim of your own dirty tricks
You got yourself to tease and displease

Doors swinging wide
You walked in to hide
Looking at your feet
Failure's complete
Saw you and me on the coin-op TV
Frozen in fear every time we appear
-Elliott Smith

My heart in the ground

It's a St. Vincent sort of day...

"I'm crawling through landmines
Just to know where you are
There's smoke in my eyes
Cause you're burning the ground

I'm crawling through landmines
Just to feel where you are
Under cover of night I put a pearl in the ground"