poor places

My mind's been stuck in Wyoming for the past three days- reliving 2004. Things I remember about Laramie: graphic billboards displaying the horrors of meth addiction, the outspoken lawyer, crying in public, my first experience of altitude sickness (running is difficult when you're a visitor from sea level), seeing Grant through plexiglas... The worst part was the oscillation between fear and anger that results in nausea and exhaustion.
The scenery may change, but that gut-full-o'-dread is exactly the same.

In preparation for the big 3-0 (8 months away and I'm already dreading it), I'm committing myself to an ultra relay- 200 miles, 6 people x 6 legs. I've been needing a new goal, so this showed up at the perfect time. I figure if I put it in blog, I'm more likely to follow through.

My jaw's been broken
My heart is wrapped in ice
My fangs have been pulled
and i really want to see you tonight

And it makes no difference to me
how they cried all over overseas
It's hot in the poor places tonight
I'm not going outside
-Wilco

A rusty heart starts to whine

It's been a bizarre couple of weeks- wishing for places and people that are far away. Normalizing my melancholy with songs this afternoon...

My mind is like an orchard
Clustered in frozen portraits
Of blossoms that bloomed so fine
Just to drop from the vine
I've seen 'em all tonight
-TV on the Radio

muscle 'n flow

For over a year, my poor dying lappy was unable to play media (music or video) successfully. It's little processor would struggle to get out a few seconds of clear sound before it fell into skipping and scratching. I realized this morning that I am much happier when I have access to my 40+ gigs of music (although I readily admit it improves my ability to procrastinate ten-fold). Yay for newly acquired electronics!

Oh, in the morning,
I stumble
my way towards
the mirror and my makeup
it's light out
and I now
face just what I'm made of

There's so much more left to do
Well I'm not young, but I'm not through

tiny scores, tiny rooms
lofty goals met too soon
-Menomena

your leaves have drifted away...

You're just like your father
Buried deep under the water
You're resting on your laurels
And stepping on my toes
Whose side are you on?
What side is this anyway?
Put down your sword and crown
Come lay with me on the ground...

Passion Pit

My life, in comic form...

The scaredy cats have become the neighborhood bullies. A monumental battle happened Wednesday night in the back yard- Lear vs. giant-red-kitty. My maternal instinct kicked in, and I tried (in vain) to intervene. Lucky, for me at least, they quickly switched locations and finished the scrap elsewhere. Lear returned for cuddles with only minor injuries- it's hard to believe that my drooling giant, who flees whenever a human enters the house, is actually a territorial kung-fu master. On the upside, his new penchant for MMA has helped him lose some weight. Dagny is sticking with non-feline prey. Unfortunately, she enjoys playing more than administering the final death blow. Recent house guests have included a sparrow and several hummingbird moths (post-release, they like to buzz around the skylights until I can chase them out with a broom).

Only a week of summer left and motivation is still at an all time low. Giving myself an extra year makes it ever so much easier to justify procrastination.

Mind was on holiday...

it's taking some adjustment being back in the real world. we returned from our Costa Rican adventures monday afternoon. i'm in love with the jungle. we started out from Alajuela, driving north in our stylie red bego. spent two nights and one full day admiring Volcan Arenal. we ziplined, hiked to a waterfall, and visited fancy schmancy hot springs (with water slides- heaven!). our next destination was Jaco, to purchase a surf board. spent the night in Playa Estrellita Oeste- a lovely little deserted beach. next on the agenda- Parque Nacional de Manuel Antonio. spotted three of the four costa rican species of monkeys, a sloth, and a dead cayman. this was also the only spot that was protected enough for snorkeling- things are a bit murky on the pacific side during the rainy season. the rest of the trip was spent in dominical, traipsing around to the local beaches (Playa Dominicalito, Hermosa, & Uvita). i took a surf lesson and caught some sweet "waves" (by which, i mean white water). we ATV'ed, rode horses, ate Tico food, visited more waterfalls, chilled by the pool, drank Imperial... the wedding itself was the highlight of the trip. it sprinkled and then down poured, but the mother-of-the-bride came prepared with white umbrellas for all the guests. the reception was spent mostly in darkness, due to a local power outage. i can't imagine a more perfect and romantic wedding.
everywhere we traveled, there were 'must sale' signs- land, houses, hotels... if only money grew on trees. i can picture myself in a casita, serving cocktails to guests and making them breakfast, spending the afternoons in the water. a bit premature to retire before i've even finished my degree.

Tico times!

It's an open road will we soon see the end
It's an open book, a story to tell the band

There is hardly a method you know

I'm a storm faced cloud, hanging in dystrophy
I'm a cold, base clown laughing at enemies
It's a rough wild world could you please chaperone
It's a mind field trip, oh leave it the fuck alone
-TV on the Radio

All the faults of the world...

i logged on today to find a plethora of half-finished posts which blogger lovingly saves for my own private perusal. the number of months that have passed is a bit ridiculous, so this is only a partial update.
most importantly, gabe arrived (just over two weeks ago!) and he's absolutely beautiful. e & m are settling into home with lots of family around to help ease the transition. i can't wait to meet him.
the house has been quiet this week and i've fallen into a bit of a funk. i'm blaming the gloomy weather- quite the anomaly for early summer in the 505. i love the chill and the clouds, but it makes me lazy and contemplative. my fourth year is officially over. i'm losing a classmate and friend, which keeps the hope alive that some day i might have three extra letters to tag-along after my name. it also reminds me of so many other transitions- how we master the art of entwining our lives with the lives of others and eventually have to disentangle. i'm missing my family and missing home.
on a happier note, the garden is shaping up quite nicely. i've been eating salad twice a day- the lettuce and kale are going crazy! counting down the days until we have fresh tomatoes.
recent obsessions: soy yogurt with fresh fruit, In Treatment, costa rica travel websites, Gang Gang Dance

Winston, I'm sorry. There's no word from Washington.
You can see all the faults of the world outside your window.
"Clementine's gone off to bed. Sir, I'll see you in the morning."
Winston I'm sorry, I don't know where Franklin's gone.
On the evening radio, with his hand to God, he said, "I knew it all along." Then when he and I talked, he said, "Tell me what you think of the world, would you now?"

It's important that we meet now, there isn't enough to go home. "I beg your pardon if you woke up feeling sorry," I said.
"There isn't enough to go now." I saw you smile with your people when you got off board. Oh, we're in a puzzle now.
-Bound Stems

co-habitation

i should be packing, but my apartment is cold and i've been spending as much time as possible away from it. i'm slowly unloading un-necessities on craigslist and making a substantial goodwill pile. my kitties have been quite lonely- i hope they adjust quickly to their new casa.

we completed our seventh day of boarding last weekend, and i'm feeling slightly more competent. at this point, i can comfortably place a large chunk of my initial failure on poorly sized boots (not that i'm completely writing off my difficulties with coordination or fear of speed...). almost three sizes too big, they made controlling the board a wee bit difficult.

tonight, we trek to santa fe for a non-snow adventure. tapes 'n tapes are playing at the brewery, and i m ecstatic!

au contraire, mon frere

Christmas was full of cookies and Eden, as my pictures will reflect.

From Christmas 2008

From Christmas 2008

i got to catch up with the Plano crew and ran into some random friendly faces at the Londoner. Fro yo with Maggie and Jeffypop, wine drinking and shopping with Carlotta, rock band and cranium with the boys...
Less family drama than usual, although my Nana called me a contrary fart and gave me the silent treatment on more than one occasion... Understandably, she's having a hard time deciding about the move. She's ridiculously attached to her belongings and i think they may win out over safety and family. It's a good reminder to myself that getting wrapped up in consumerism has very real consequences.

i'm all sorts of bruised up from our first day of snowboarding (and have an ironically consequential knot on my head from bumping into a cabinet while searching for ibuprofen and arnica). here's hoping for less falls and a better grasp of toe edge turns...