A broken branch I'd be, if you weren't grown to me

Christmas is less than a week away, and i still haven't mustered up any holiday spirit... last minute shopping and the extremely long drive are filling me with dread rather than tidings of good cheer. regardless, i am ready to be at home. my favorite thing about this time of year is cooking with mi madre. although i'm slowly building up my own private arsenal, her kitchen is (by far) better equipped for massive amounts of baking (the highlight being her fabulous new convection oven... *le sigh*).
my apartment is clean for the first time since the comps crunch began. even though the remainder of my list got put on hold for the day, it feels remarkably calming for all the clutter to be temporarily in order.

I guess they'll read everything about you.
Though the press might shoot me down I'm still true.
I sell my book for free. That's what you do to me.

Oh, you are my family tree.
Be good to me
Take care of me.
-Ben Kweller

i want my mtv

this website might lead to my academic downfall...
MTV Music
every video ever (or at least every one that i can think of and care to see again)

edit: have i told you lately how much i heart christopher walken? i've never been happier- easy access to a high quality copy of weapon of choice- i'm gonna learn the whole routine.

si se puede

after a week spent crying tears of loss, it felt good to cry for hope and joy last night. for the first time in my somewhat brief career as a voter, my voice was heard and my state, with our five little electoral votes, added to the victory. i hope i can keep my cynicism on the back burner for awhile- it feels good to believe.

in this life like weeds

apologies for my extended absence. suffering from a horrific case of writer's block- i can't make myself write my comps and i've been avoiding writing in my journal. here's to breaking two months of silence, in hopes that the words start flowing in other arenas of my life...
the weather decided to turn cool without much warning, reminding me that in winter my apartment morphs into a human refrigerator. no amount of hot tea or sweatshirt-layering makes the chill go away, but i refuse to turn on the heater when the outside temp is in the mid-to-high-50's. i miss the days of central air/heating, when i had a little box that magically kept my home at a comfortable 78 degrees. thermostat- where are you now, when i need you the most?
my mom is a bad ass. she and several of her closest friends jumped out of an airplane last weekend to celebrate their birthdays.
here she is looking remarkably calm pre-jump:

From Blogger Pictures

here she is on her way down...

From Blogger Pictures

i believe that i've mentioned this before, but i was reminded last night. when i go, i want it to be fast and painless for my family. i don't want anyone to have to cleanup after me. i don't want to linger and become someone other than myself.

All this talkin' all the time and the air fills up, up, up
Until there's nothin' left to breathe
And you think you feel most everything
And we know that our hearts are just made out of strings
To be pulled, strings to be pulled
-Modest Mouse

keep them all checking their watches

returned from viejo mexico tuesday night. i put up pictures (more than anyone really wants to see) on picasa:
Sayulita 2008
i'm still processing the trip- rather than forgetting about real life, i spent a week in deep contemplation. i wish i had the ocean close to me always- calms me down and clears my head... mother nature's answer for anti-anxiety meds.

When you're riding the rails with those wide open eyes,
Well, there's one old south paw you will always fight.
And alone on a worn-out throne
is the reigning queen of the questions
Why we blind-footed toddlers ever started out.

So don't get into it with me
When I goose-step
Across the kitchen floor
You know I still adore
All your mother's old-fashioned ways
I'm so impressed that you hear
My inventions, and that it matters more
Than what you saw with your eyes...
the shins

girls gone wilde

thanks to A for passing along this little gem...

'Llectuals

whiter shade of pale

The on-again, off-again trip is becoming more of a reality. Seeing as i would like to spend my days on the beach sunburn-free, i decided to investigate fake n' bake establishments. i'm a bit apprehensive- i've never indoor tanned before, and after a quick google search, i may have lost my appetite for destruction. the second link that comes up for tanning in my zip code is a taxidermy place...

Reasons why anony is on my list of favorites:

Create your own family sticker graphic at pYzam.com

why don't you talk dirty to me?

i can barely walk. if i could only fit in an hour of boxing and four hours of dancing everyday, i would have killer legs. went to my first hip hop show last night- i feel like i've spent my almost-28-years of life missing out on all the fun. tanya morgan, prince ali, musab, knobody, blue scholars, hieroglyphics... good times- killer beats- worth the pain, for sure

it's just the sun you need...

i keep stopping by, meaning to write an update, and then deciding against it. summer is disappearing too quickly, and as usual, productivity is basically at a standstill.
rather than giving all the juicy details, highlights include: a no-less-than tumultuous trip to the big D (where we relearn the meaning of loving to hate to love family...), boxing, jemez backpacking, surf movies, bbq's, datarock and ladytron, lots and lots of trivia, fit-tease (x- because it's extra baby), a visit to the zoo, hikes galore, and an ongoing battle with insomnia.

i'm a bit infuriated... this morning, i discovered that CRC fits quite comfortably into my jeans. all i've done all summer is work out and all he does is eat. i think i need a metabolism transplant.

total boy
tells me stories
sometimes they make me sorry
i need another
i need another
sugar doughnut and muffin, baby
this world is going crazy
i think i'm through listening to you...

gonna make some plans
wait and see
turn it off
turn me on
open your eyes look around you
fuck what you heard
you were lied to
-islands

war zone blues

a slightly more coherent draft of my thesis proposal just floated it's way out of my mailbox and into the ether. here's hoping for a positive review.
it's earlier than expected and i don't know what to do with myself. sadly, the two things i want most are a few hours of mind-numbing cable and clean clothes- neither within my reach.
instead i will settle for sleep.

the spirit

i heart frank miller.
a lot, a lot.

december seems awfully far away, but i'm thinking it will be worth the wait...

I need a shot
I need a shot of ambition
I need a hit
I need a hit of nutrition
I need a fix
I need to fix my ignition

If you want to whip me into shape
I need a plan or a mission
Cause I'm gunna ride fast, going nowhere
And I left my brain in the past
I'm gunna ride fast
To where I don't care...
-Datarock

with a stolen voice, you are a runner and i am my father's son

favorite things of late:

the new balance "you broke up with running" commercial

trader joe's unsweetened, iced, blueberry & pomegranate green tea (why, oh why did i only buy one bottle?)

Louisiana accents (i don't want my new friends to move)

cloudy days

messages that end in xo

gardenia

i wish i was better at navigating conflict... after 27 3/4 years, one would think i'd be better equipped to handle and discuss feelings of anger and hurt. instead, during these silly but inevitable moments of life, i feel like i'm floating outside of my body, watching myself shut down.

after seeing the jicks live, i find myself crushing on stephen malkmus. his witty stage banter plus stellar lyrics multiplied by delicious nerdy-ness makes him completely irresistible.

I kinda like the way you dot your "J"s
With giant circles of naïveté
The kind of circles include everything
Don't mean to damn you with the faintest phrase
It's just a symptom of the blave age
I want to live in
He would be amazed.

So you've got some curb appeal
But can you cook a three course meal?
Or are you just a present waiting to be opened up and parceled out again? Hey!
-SM

i fought the war, but the war won

my poor little blog is experiencing post-switch neglect- most definitely that time of the semester... to start off with some good school-related news: i have dates set for my master's thesis proposal and the initiation of my comps. given my penchant for putting things off until the last possible second, this is a step in the right direction. here's to a lot of pressure-fueled work in the next few weeks. sleep resumes in june.
coachella was as close to perfect as i can imagine- so worth the exhaustion. magically, i avoided sunburn and hangovers. non-musical highlights: our "22 in FL" neighbors and their failed attempt at a vodka watermelon, frozen slushy lemonades, religious solicitation in the campground, drinking tecate in the parking lot oasis, chatting with the euros in the cabana, VIP wristbands, earth juice, the fannypack-speedo brigade (best place for people watching ever!), pretty lights (particularly the cubatron, the tesla coils, and the spotlight/cage), dancing dancing and more dancing...
because of overlapping set times, we ended up listening to bits and pieces of shows- maximizing our overall coverage of the festival, but leaving me with a bunch of bands i want to see again. mostly for my own benefit (my memory is sure to fail me later on), a comprehensive list:
Fri: Battles, Les Savy Fav, Black Kids, Architecture in Helsinki, Vampire Weekend, The National, The Raconteurs, The Swell Season, Aesop Rock, Datarock, Sharon Jones & the Dap Kings
Sat:VHS or Beta, Man Man, Minus the Bear, MGMT, Cold War Kids, Stephen Malkmus & the Jicks, St. Vincent, Hot Chip, Death Cab for Cutie, Islands, Kraftwerk, M.I.A., Animal Collective, Portishead, Prince (with Morris Day, Jerome Benton, and Sheila E)
Sun: the Cool Kids, I'm From Barcelona, Holy Fuck, Shout Out Louds, Stars, Does It Offend You, yeah?, Gogol Bordello, Metric, Love and Rockets, Modeselektor, Sia, Roger Waters, Justice


eye candy
more pics up at picasa...

a comedy of errors

looking back at my attempts to find amusement in the past (less-than-lovely) 12 months- some days, it's been harder than others. this week has been over the top, ridiculously bad- so bad that i can't help but be amused. to give you a brief taste of the sordid details, in no particular order: i locked myself out of my apartment, had to pee in a cup (with the current state of medical advancement, why is this still a routine procedure?), had a nice long walk to my car in the cold rain, and i'm being audited by the NM taxation and revenue board (for wages earned before i lived here)...
you know it's bad when my mom is asking me if i've broken a mirror lately ("no, but the cats did... does that bad luck transfer to me?")

in happier news:
coachella is looking more like a reality, just in time for me to start dreaming of a chicago trip to see thom and the boys.
mango curry shrimp is delish. as are the gigantic ginger cookies from flying star.
on my third week sans soda, and the craving is completely gone.
tonight, i have new tapes 'n tapes to keep me company on my run.

As Harold took a bite of Bavarian sugar cookie, he finally felt as if everything was going to be ok. Sometimes, when we lose ourselves in fear and despair, in routine and constancy, in hopelessness and tragedy, we can thank God for Bavarian sugar cookies. And, fortunately, when there aren't any cookies, we can still find reassurance in a familiar hand on our skin, or a kind and loving gesture, or subtle encouragement, or a loving embrace, or an offer of comfort, not to mention hospital gurneys and nose plugs, an uneaten Danish, soft-spoken secrets, and Fender Stratocasters, and maybe the occasional piece of fiction. And we must remember that all these things, the nuances, the anomalies, the subtleties, which we assume only accessorize our days, are effective for a much larger and nobler cause. They are here to save our lives. I know the idea seems strange, but I also know that it just so happens to be true. And, so it was, a wristwatch saved Harold Crick.
-Stranger than Fiction

inaugural

not quite happy with the new space, but it will get there i suppose. it's amazing how i've come to rely on my blog-babble. the therapy is in the erasing- i type and re-type and mostly delete the important stuff, but it gives me some time to process. i've also noticed that i store up random bits i want to save, and it's been bothersome not having a place to keep them. particularly lyrics...

I told you to be patient
I told you to be fine
I told you to be balanced
I told you to be kind
In the morning I'll be with you
But it will be a different "kind"
I'll be holding all the tickets
And you'll be owning all the fines
-bon iver