So all that business about my body revolting? Full on coup d'etat. It's comforting to have an explanation for the recent debilitating fatigue, but why does it have to be iron-deficiency anemia? I can hear my entire meat-lovin' family in the back of my head, teasing me about my 9 years of veggie life and trying to expand my current "no mammal" diet plan ("It's just a a little bacon, E, it won't kill ya..." *should be read with a hefty TX accent*). Despite my body insisting that it actually needs steak, my mind cannot stomach the thought. Hello, Iron Supplements; welcome to my world.
The almost-worst part? Doc telling me I need to cut back my exercise to "brisk walks" until this resolves. I'm slowing down, I'll take a few more days off during the week, but damned if my addiction is going to allow compliance on this issue. *sigh*
The absolute-worst part? Falls in the TMI category- lucky for you, unlucky for me. (Just so you get a bit of my inner monologue- ever since I started this post, I've had Alanis in the back of my head... Isn't it iron-ic? Dontcha think?)
In happier news, the day after the "worst part", I get to visit Jilly-pants in Seattle! Another trip planned for Denver on Memorial Day weekend- Broken Bells at the Gothic. Should be a good summer!
Use your intuition
It's all you've got
Keys are rare
And there's a dozen locks
Standing in your way
So goes the gold age
To your entire life...
I know what I know
Would not fill a thimble
So let your mind go (let my mind go)
Straight down the runway
-Broken Bells
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Saturday, April 17, 2010
ho-hum
Almost 48 hours of isolation this weekend (I refuse to count the cashier at Sunflower market as "company"). I have a love-hate relationship with solitude. On the plus side, it was nice to reacquaint myself with my music collection in a forum other than the running trail. I got to pick my own movie Friday night and didn't have to worry about how much time I've spent hidden behind the laptop screen. I actually get a bit uncomfortable if I'm around people too much. Yet... There's something disconcerting about being lost in thought. The tears-to-hours ratio was a bit ridiculous. I'm blaming my emotional lability on Shuffle's miraculous power to pull up every single song that immediately makes me cry. The basic principle of exposure therapy is failing me here (I've listened to most of these gems a bajillion times- my technical word for Monday morning). Luckily, the girls and Henry (my favorite gardener) came to the rescue, joining me for a lovely Sunday brunch and pulling me out of my melancholy. Best excuse ever to make cinnamon rolls- maple glazed, with triple fruit/pecan filling... mmmmm!
When Red came to visit (Thanksgiving, to put things in perspective), he bookmarked a half dozen websites destined to expand my musical repertoire. Sadly, they've been neglected until last night. My heart was immediately captured by Toad! I'll admit, I'm a sucker for a British accent. He also talks about his cats mid-podcast, so we're destined to be BFF's from afar. Here's hoping that this was the first step to ending my current lackadaisical-approach to music acquisition.
In school-related news, I joined a listserv (one that asked for "credentials" prior to granting my membership)- perhaps a true sign of career commitment? And... I am officially a professor! Summer session 1, Intro to Brain and Behavior. Here's hoping I can spread my enthusiasm on the topic to a handful of UNM undergrads. I've started collecting video clips and cartoons- not above doing a little song and dance to keep their interest. Maybe that can be my class motto: making brains sexy since 2010.
When Red came to visit (Thanksgiving, to put things in perspective), he bookmarked a half dozen websites destined to expand my musical repertoire. Sadly, they've been neglected until last night. My heart was immediately captured by Toad! I'll admit, I'm a sucker for a British accent. He also talks about his cats mid-podcast, so we're destined to be BFF's from afar. Here's hoping that this was the first step to ending my current lackadaisical-approach to music acquisition.
In school-related news, I joined a listserv (one that asked for "credentials" prior to granting my membership)- perhaps a true sign of career commitment? And... I am officially a professor! Summer session 1, Intro to Brain and Behavior. Here's hoping I can spread my enthusiasm on the topic to a handful of UNM undergrads. I've started collecting video clips and cartoons- not above doing a little song and dance to keep their interest. Maybe that can be my class motto: making brains sexy since 2010.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Things you should know by now... When post frequency picks up, there's probably something important I'm procrastinating on. *le sigh*
The trip to SF made me painfully aware of my grad school budget. I'm tired of watching my pennies, feeling guilty over every teeny splurge. Staying on Market & 4th was disastrous- temptation literally in every store front: Fcuk, Armani Exchange, Betsey Johnson, Prada, Lulu Lemon (a new, but worthy, obsession), Anthropologie, Ted Baker, Laundry... The excess of it all was a bit overwhelming. And wholly unnecessary. I don't know why I dream of spending loads of money on clothes- no matter how much I spend, I will never be fashion forward. Fancy price tags can't take away my innate awkwardness. Since returning to Abq, I can't seem to shake this urge to shop. Case in point- I found the coolest bamboo dry erase boards. I went so far as to add it to my virtual shopping cart, before succumbing to a reality check. Why spend $100 on something that has a functional equivalent available at Target for $10? You are tempting, my consumer-happy world, full of pretty, borderline-useless baubles...
The trip to SF made me painfully aware of my grad school budget. I'm tired of watching my pennies, feeling guilty over every teeny splurge. Staying on Market & 4th was disastrous- temptation literally in every store front: Fcuk, Armani Exchange, Betsey Johnson, Prada, Lulu Lemon (a new, but worthy, obsession), Anthropologie, Ted Baker, Laundry... The excess of it all was a bit overwhelming. And wholly unnecessary. I don't know why I dream of spending loads of money on clothes- no matter how much I spend, I will never be fashion forward. Fancy price tags can't take away my innate awkwardness. Since returning to Abq, I can't seem to shake this urge to shop. Case in point- I found the coolest bamboo dry erase boards. I went so far as to add it to my virtual shopping cart, before succumbing to a reality check. Why spend $100 on something that has a functional equivalent available at Target for $10? You are tempting, my consumer-happy world, full of pretty, borderline-useless baubles...
Monday, April 5, 2010
be sure to wear some flowers in your hair...
I spent my most of my rainy Sunday huddled up in the United Airlines terminal at SFO with a copy of The Wind-Up Bird Chronicles. While there are other places I would rather be with a good book (for instance: sofa, blanket, cup o' hot tea), I was pleased to have several hours to lose myself in words not related to psychology. Despite the multiple delays and a switched flight, I begrudgingly made it back in time for work.
I always worry a little, pre-trip, that things will be different with my HS crew. 12 years out, we easily fall into a comfortable routine- filling each other in on the details of life, while maintaining a familiar banter. Trip highlights included window shopping, a raw foods feast at Alive with the step sisters, super hero spottings (and zombies, oh my!), reminiscing with Kristen during the Palomar's nightly wine tasting, a walk to Chinatown in search of guava candy, strawberry cupcakes... The wedding was lovely. Stephen and Grace looked so incredibly happy- a contagious joyfulness that was visible in the face of every guest. The theme of family permeated the whole ceremony; after Mr. Chau's speech, it was hard to hold back the waterworks.
Before leaving Abq, I diligently mapped out a 6 mile run starting from my hotel. I was excited for the change in scenery. The plan was to make my way to Fisherman's Wharf then back around to Market Street, with an up-close view of the water. The drizzle and cold got the best of my motivation. Better to spend the last morning enjoying a warm breakfast with good company, eh? Trying to play catch up this week, but the weather is not cooperating. Windy miles seem infinitely harder than calm ones. On a semi-related note, props to the bro for outfitting my itunes with quite the collection of gangsta rap. Who knew that Biggie Smalls would be the best running buddy ever?
I always worry a little, pre-trip, that things will be different with my HS crew. 12 years out, we easily fall into a comfortable routine- filling each other in on the details of life, while maintaining a familiar banter. Trip highlights included window shopping, a raw foods feast at Alive with the step sisters, super hero spottings (and zombies, oh my!), reminiscing with Kristen during the Palomar's nightly wine tasting, a walk to Chinatown in search of guava candy, strawberry cupcakes... The wedding was lovely. Stephen and Grace looked so incredibly happy- a contagious joyfulness that was visible in the face of every guest. The theme of family permeated the whole ceremony; after Mr. Chau's speech, it was hard to hold back the waterworks.
Before leaving Abq, I diligently mapped out a 6 mile run starting from my hotel. I was excited for the change in scenery. The plan was to make my way to Fisherman's Wharf then back around to Market Street, with an up-close view of the water. The drizzle and cold got the best of my motivation. Better to spend the last morning enjoying a warm breakfast with good company, eh? Trying to play catch up this week, but the weather is not cooperating. Windy miles seem infinitely harder than calm ones. On a semi-related note, props to the bro for outfitting my itunes with quite the collection of gangsta rap. Who knew that Biggie Smalls would be the best running buddy ever?
Sunday, March 14, 2010
for the sake of momentum
which I seem to be lacking in all other areas of life...
My grand plan for a "productive" break was foiled (yet again) by my penchant for procrastination. I did have a spotlessly clean kitchen and tidied living room (how quickly these small and significant details drift back to disarray). Started on the bedroom, but it's a daunting task- so many stacks of random, potentially important journal articles (that once filed away, will never see daylight again).
I spent several hours collecting new recipes to try. Recent culinary successes include walnut pesto-chicken sausage-artichoke pizza; lemony shortcakes with strawberries and mango; slow-cooked Mediterranean chicken with almond couscous; nutty cauliflower quinoa (tasty and vegan!); double sesame tuna; whole grain and flax biscuits... Next up in the experiment line: baked Applesauce Doughnuts and homemade Thin Mints.
Although I have mixed feelings about seeing the snow leave, the spring weather has noticeably lifted my mood. I'm ready for Saturday morning trips to the farmer's market, long hikes, and afternoons spent elbow-deep in mud and seeds
The running update- finally broke my 20 mile/week barrier. Unfortunately, I've had to sacrifice kickboxing. There's been an anticipated increase in internalized aggression. Hopefully, my speed work outs will become an alternate outlet. Else, you should all keep your distance for a few weeks.
My grand plan for a "productive" break was foiled (yet again) by my penchant for procrastination. I did have a spotlessly clean kitchen and tidied living room (how quickly these small and significant details drift back to disarray). Started on the bedroom, but it's a daunting task- so many stacks of random, potentially important journal articles (that once filed away, will never see daylight again).
I spent several hours collecting new recipes to try. Recent culinary successes include walnut pesto-chicken sausage-artichoke pizza; lemony shortcakes with strawberries and mango; slow-cooked Mediterranean chicken with almond couscous; nutty cauliflower quinoa (tasty and vegan!); double sesame tuna; whole grain and flax biscuits... Next up in the experiment line: baked Applesauce Doughnuts and homemade Thin Mints.
Although I have mixed feelings about seeing the snow leave, the spring weather has noticeably lifted my mood. I'm ready for Saturday morning trips to the farmer's market, long hikes, and afternoons spent elbow-deep in mud and seeds
The running update- finally broke my 20 mile/week barrier. Unfortunately, I've had to sacrifice kickboxing. There's been an anticipated increase in internalized aggression. Hopefully, my speed work outs will become an alternate outlet. Else, you should all keep your distance for a few weeks.
Monday, February 8, 2010
pictures of me...
I can only handle ambiguity in small doses. Weeks of dealing with it leaves me on edge and physically depleted. Just in case I wasn't emotionally aware of the strain, my body has staged a revolt. It feels like I've been sick more days than not since the semester started- objectively, I know this is a slight exaggeration, but I'm beyond frustrated. I eat healthy, I work out... but the sleep (which I've been skimping on) and the stress (over the top!) are winning this war.
Looking back over my past many months of "blogging," the under-reporting and over-reliance on lyrics speaks volumes. I've been preoccupied with topics inappropriate for public display. Pondering has gotten me nowhere, so I'm trying to get back into the moment and out of my futile meaning-of-life-exercises.
Only 8 days in the snow this year- we might sneak in one more this weekend. Equipment problems continued to plague me, but the last day at Angel Fire, everything fell into place. I got my boots adjusted and finally felt at one with my hand-me-down board. I rocked two black diamonds! Since there's no video evidence and only one witness, I'm sticking with that story... I have no wish to be a park rider, but hiking up to off-lift, in-bound trails, swimming in feet of fresh pow- that's my element. My new goal is to eventually ride a split board.
Eden turned three last month. I've been trying to catch her on Skype once a weekend, but she actually prefers the phone- it's easier to tote me around the house and "show" me things. Deb-Deb and Pa Joe are (rightfully) more cautious with the Mac. This weekend is her princess party, and I'm sad to miss it.
Other news: I'm officially back on the running band wagon. I finally defended my masters, just in time for Stumbleupon to bring my graduate career to a smashing end. Not surprisingly, half of the sites it handpicks for me involve pretty pictures of food and recipes. My kitty now has cleaner teeth than me (seriously... dental work for the munchkin... *sigh*). And that's it... That's my 2010.
Start stop and start
Stupid acting smart
Flirting with the flicks
You say it's just for kicks
You'll be the victim of your own dirty tricks
You got yourself to tease and displease
Doors swinging wide
You walked in to hide
Looking at your feet
Failure's complete
Saw you and me on the coin-op TV
Frozen in fear every time we appear
-Elliott Smith
Looking back over my past many months of "blogging," the under-reporting and over-reliance on lyrics speaks volumes. I've been preoccupied with topics inappropriate for public display. Pondering has gotten me nowhere, so I'm trying to get back into the moment and out of my futile meaning-of-life-exercises.
Only 8 days in the snow this year- we might sneak in one more this weekend. Equipment problems continued to plague me, but the last day at Angel Fire, everything fell into place. I got my boots adjusted and finally felt at one with my hand-me-down board. I rocked two black diamonds! Since there's no video evidence and only one witness, I'm sticking with that story... I have no wish to be a park rider, but hiking up to off-lift, in-bound trails, swimming in feet of fresh pow- that's my element. My new goal is to eventually ride a split board.
Eden turned three last month. I've been trying to catch her on Skype once a weekend, but she actually prefers the phone- it's easier to tote me around the house and "show" me things. Deb-Deb and Pa Joe are (rightfully) more cautious with the Mac. This weekend is her princess party, and I'm sad to miss it.
Other news: I'm officially back on the running band wagon. I finally defended my masters, just in time for Stumbleupon to bring my graduate career to a smashing end. Not surprisingly, half of the sites it handpicks for me involve pretty pictures of food and recipes. My kitty now has cleaner teeth than me (seriously... dental work for the munchkin... *sigh*). And that's it... That's my 2010.
Start stop and start
Stupid acting smart
Flirting with the flicks
You say it's just for kicks
You'll be the victim of your own dirty tricks
You got yourself to tease and displease
Doors swinging wide
You walked in to hide
Looking at your feet
Failure's complete
Saw you and me on the coin-op TV
Frozen in fear every time we appear
-Elliott Smith
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